Gundamian Spy
by Phi-chama
Summary: A songfilk of Don McLean's "American Pie." Rated R for crudeness.


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I've always wanted to do a songfilk. ^__^ This is my first.  
Please be kind. [Lordy, these things are a lot harder than you'd  
think -- especially for frickin' 9-minute-long songs!]  
  
WARNINGS: OOC-ness! Relena-bashing [even though I love  
the poor girl]. Some crudeness/raunchy lyrics.... And some of  
the "rhymes" are REALLY bad-slash-cheesy.  
PAIRINGS: R+1, Heero-Duo relationship.  
Usual disclaimers apply. The song "American Pie" belongs  
to Don McLean, who has made so much money off of this song  
it shouldn't matter if I put in a disclaimer or not.  
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Gundamian Spy : An American Pie Songfilk  
by Phi [ juki@aurabuster.net || http://aurabuster.net ]  
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A short short time ago  
It's not hard to remember how that girl used to chase him 'round  
And I knew if she had a clue  
She would find that it wasn't true  
Thinkin' they would be happy for a while.  
  
Yet Heero's laugh made her shiver  
With every death threat he'd deliver  
Bad news for ojo-san  
Being in love with that man  
  
I remember that she had cried  
When Heero said he won't take her side  
But oh yeah, all her tears were dried  
The day Relena died  
  
Oh  
Bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
Did she write the Book of Love?  
And would she believe in God above  
If Heero told her "yes"?  
Did you think he would stay with her  
Day and night, being called "monsieur"?  
And can you picture Heero as a "sir"?  
  
Well, she was truly in love with him  
But he preferred the hangar or gym  
They both let their feelings brew  
Man, you should see the sparks from those two!  
  
I was a lonely teenage horny buck  
With a hard-on for my best buddy and schmuck  
But I knew I would get a f***  
The day Relena died  
  
I started singing  
Bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
Now for ten days he's been planning this  
The gruesome death of that stalker miss  
But that's not all it's gonna be  
When the Soldier shot at the Earth's Queen  
In a suit he bought from L.L. Bean  
And a hat that was not all that clean  
  
Oh, and while the Queen was looking 'round  
The Soldier shot her in the crown  
Her body was all burned  
But Heero was not concerned  
And while Dorothy planed our death by sharks  
Our duet had sex at the park  
I praised Heero in the dark  
The day Relena died  
  
He was smiling  
Bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
"Melt 'er, belt 'er in a winter sweater"  
The words flew out like a cornered debtor  
Eight times drunk and fading fast  
We landed sated on the grass  
The policemen tried to give us sass  
But the Soldier's skill, no one could've surpassed  
  
Now Relena's blood was sweet perfume  
While our Gundams dug a deep dank tomb  
We both laid down to "dance"  
Oh, but we never had the chance  
'Cuz the police tried to take us in  
The Gundams refused to state sin  
Do you recall what was put in  
The day Relena died  
  
He started laughing  
Bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
Oh, and there we were all in one place  
Crying his guilt to the human race  
With no time left to f*** again  
So come on, sex be simple, sex be quick  
Trapping us, what a time to pick  
'Cuz Horny Heero is hard to replace  
  
Oh, and as I watched him set the stage  
Their guts were clenched in knots of rage  
No Gundam here on Earth  
Could break this Pilot's mirth  
And as the guns piled high into the night  
To kill the anti-social fright  
I saw Heero smiling with delight  
The day Relena died  
  
He was yelling  
Bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
I saw a guy whose hair was blue  
And I asked him who did his cool hue  
But he just sniffed and turned away  
I went left for the sacred Colt  
Where I'd stashed it before the quick bolt  
But the men there said that would spoil our soiree  
  
And in the streets 'Lena's blood gleamed  
Her brother cried, and Heero just beamed  
But not a shot was fired  
Those guys were uninspired  
And the three men I work with most  
The Blondie, Prick and the Silent Ghost  
They just left us there to be toast  
The day Relena died  
  
And we were shouting  
Bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
We were saying bye-bye, Miss Gundamian Spy  
Drove my mecha out to sky  
'Cuz I was a smart guy  
And them good old Earthies were runnin' 'round askin' "Why?"  
Cryin' it's the day Miss Relena died  
It's the day Miss Relena died  
  
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Hmmm... make any sense? Whatsoever? 


End file.
